All that I can be

I have lately been giving my situation a great deal of thought. What situation is this you may ask? My priorities. I have, in RL (to use a gamer term) an inexplicable fear of failure. This makes me a perfectionist. My stories are never done because they are never good enough. When I was younger and able to play ice hockey this led me to the heights that I climbed and made me push myself until I was pretty damn good.

I live, every day, in Real Life and I would not have it any other way. I work, I write, I try to learn how to cook better, (my new experiment is white chocolate/peanut butter brownies...the guys at work can't wait) and I learn new things. Japanese is coming along nicely. I can already pick up words and phrases from the shows I watch. But I still hate to fail.

There is another life. One in which I am free of this fear. World of Warcraft. To those who scoff at it's obvious D&D origins I say well, yeah. To those who berate it as a waste of time I say turn off that stupid television. It is a magnificent place. There I am a hunter named Kelsomar. I have no fear there. On my own with my pets Taberth, Komodo and Katen I travel continents in search of adventure, new sights, and new foes. Many days I join up with my favorite couple Ailis and Nyloc, a druid and a paladin of great renown. In a great moment of pride and geekness I will publicly state that I can and have topped the damage meters (a pretty tough thing for a non common specced hunter to do).

In this life I have goals as well. Slowly but surely a small middle aged dwarf is making her way through the ranks of the priesthood. One day she will be a feared shadow keeper. Two young shamans wait in the wings, one who will call upon the powers of the earth and nature, who will control with great skill the power of lightning itself. The other will be a healer, a custodian of the lives of her companions and who will be happy to do so. And far off in the distance, rarely played but never forgotten is a warrior, a gnome who will one day be a champion.

What caused all this introspection and self proclamation? Well, I lost power for a day and was irked by my refrigerator that didn't turn back on. Grrrrr. I had to kick it. I threatened to dump it and called the lame ass company from whence it came. Grrrr. All that lovely ice cream gone, ruined. Ask the guys at work. I love my ice cream. ;)